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Archive for the 'Beauty FAIL' Category

They Call it “Hairchitechture”

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
By Glinda

This is what hair done by architechts looks like.

I’m thinking that other than the last look, which I find pretty cool, they should probably stick to their day jobs.

Things I Don’t Do: The YSL “Facebook” Palette

Tuesday, July 24th, 2012
By Glinda

OK, OK, so it isn’t really called that, rather it is the ‘Devoted To Fans #1′  palette, which actually sounds a even more awkward.

I’ve spoken before about beauty and commercialism, and even though I understand the palette will only be available to YSL Facebook fans, (thus the color scheme) it still seems a bit crass.  Of all the things in the world for a beauty product to be inspired by, Facebook would be the last thing on my list.

I do like the colors, and I’m sure my dislike of the product is completely irrational.  Perhaps my toddler’s brand of logic has been rubbing off on me.

It’s just that I like my luxury brands to at least attempt to maintain the illusion of classiness, and this one doesn’t quite cut it.

Finally, Sharon Stone and I Have Something In Common

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
By Glinda

The HAIR, people, the HAIR!

I toss my hair up in a ponytail that looks exactly like that almost every day.  I don’t have bangs either, so I am totally feeling her Witch Hazel-esque wisps.

But both Witch Hazel and I would trade her perky boobs for our droopy ones in a hot second.

Beach Makeup Simplified

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012
By Glinda

All around the web are cute little articles about how to wear your makeup to the beach.  Nude lips! Smudge-proof eye makeup! Waterproof mascara!

I am a native Southern Californian, and have been going to the beach year ’round my entire life.

Let me tell you a little secret to summer “beach makeup.”

Don’t wear any.


First, you are going to sweat.  It’s summer at the beach!  Unless you plan on parking yourself under your umbrella and never moving an inch the entire day, you are going to sweat, so don’t bother with foundation.  You could possibly wear a tinted sunscreen, but that is as far as you should take it.  If you go in the water, whatever you put on is toast anyway, and when you have to reapply after a couple of hours, there is no good way to do it.  A face that has a foundation/sand combo is not flattering. Just stick with sunscreen.

And mascara? Again, I don’t even bother.  Hours of being in the wind, water, and sun are going to ruin the hell out of even the best mascara.  Not to mention you are going to be wearing your sunglasses the entire time, so why bother?

As for lips, wearing any kind of lipstick is asking to look ridiculous after a while.  Wear the most moisturizing SPF lip balm with a self applicator you can find and leave it at that.

Unless you are at the beach to try and pick up some guys in less than a couple of hours, leave the makeup at home. This shouldn’t be harder than shopping for sneakers online at Def Shop.

And if you are at the beach just to pick up some guys, less is still more when it comes to the beach.   There was a time in my life when I thought it was a good idea to apply makeup when going to the beach, but I was instantly cured the second I looked at myself in the rear view mirror on the way home.

Tuesday Beauty Poll

Monday, June 11th, 2012
By Glinda

Bad computer! Bad, bad, computer, breaking down and not allowing mama to post!

But I’m back, and crankier than ever, thanks to four days without a computer.

54% of you think that perfume that smells like a new book is ridiculous, and 45% you think it is wonderful, which isn’t really that big of a spread.  I wouldn’t buy it, but I think it’s an interesting concept.

Today, I want to know how you feel about Amanda Seyfried’s lipstick at the Tony Awards.

Raise Your Hand

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012
By Glinda

If you’re guilty of doing one of these so-called “bad skin habits.”

OK, well, I can see how going without sunscreen and baking in the sun aren’t good things.  But how many people actually apply products with such a heavy hand that they cause problems?

And, you will have to pry my hot showers and exfoliators out of my red, inflamed hands.

See What I Mean???

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
By Glinda

Jennifer Lopez, who is normally very beautiful, was apparently shoved into a janitor’s closet and had her makeup applied by a nearsighted ten year old.

Kudos to the young lass for at least not messing up that waterline, (thanks, SarahDances!) hideous as it may be.

Stay Klassy With Konvict Perfume

Thursday, April 12th, 2012
By Glinda

I don’t know how this particular product managed to escape (har har) me, but seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Rapper Akon has sued the company he was in negotiations with for producing a perfume, but he alleges they went ahead and did this all on their own.

Yeah, I would sue too.

Things I Don’t Do: Scented Nail Polish

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
By Glinda

Apparently scented nail polish is becoming a “thing.”


Because unless you spend all day with your hands cradling your face, I fail to see how scented nails could impact you in any way.

And to be honest, the thought of eating and having a scent wafting in my nostrils as I’m lifting my fork to my mouth is not at all appealing.

This is definitely one trend I won’t be following.

Not Even Christy Turlington

Friday, February 24th, 2012
By Glinda

could make this 90’s era Vogue cover work.  And she is absolutely gorgeous, IMHO.

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