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Kim Kardashian Channels Diana Ross

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012
By Glinda

And scares all the little children.

I’m going to go out on a limb and tag this photo as the main inspiration behind Kim’s look for a photo shoot:

I’m sorry, but Miss Diana has more talent and fierce diva-liciousness in her pinky toe than Kim Kardashian could ever hope to have.

Let us pray that Kim’s published photos are in black and white, for the sake of everyone’s retinas.

Beach Makeup Simplified

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012
By Glinda

All around the web are cute little articles about how to wear your makeup to the beach.  Nude lips! Smudge-proof eye makeup! Waterproof mascara!

I am a native Southern Californian, and have been going to the beach year ’round my entire life.

Let me tell you a little secret to summer “beach makeup.”

Don’t wear any.


First, you are going to sweat.  It’s summer at the beach!  Unless you plan on parking yourself under your umbrella and never moving an inch the entire day, you are going to sweat, so don’t bother with foundation.  You could possibly wear a tinted sunscreen, but that is as far as you should take it.  If you go in the water, whatever you put on is toast anyway, and when you have to reapply after a couple of hours, there is no good way to do it.  A face that has a foundation/sand combo is not flattering. Just stick with sunscreen.

And mascara? Again, I don’t even bother.  Hours of being in the wind, water, and sun are going to ruin the hell out of even the best mascara.  Not to mention you are going to be wearing your sunglasses the entire time, so why bother?

As for lips, wearing any kind of lipstick is asking to look ridiculous after a while.  Wear the most moisturizing SPF lip balm with a self applicator you can find and leave it at that.

Unless you are at the beach to try and pick up some guys in less than a couple of hours, leave the makeup at home. This shouldn’t be harder than shopping for sneakers online at Def Shop.

And if you are at the beach just to pick up some guys, less is still more when it comes to the beach.   There was a time in my life when I thought it was a good idea to apply makeup when going to the beach, but I was instantly cured the second I looked at myself in the rear view mirror on the way home.

Tuesday Beauty Poll

Monday, June 11th, 2012
By Glinda

Bad computer! Bad, bad, computer, breaking down and not allowing mama to post!

But I’m back, and crankier than ever, thanks to four days without a computer.

54% of you think that perfume that smells like a new book is ridiculous, and 45% you think it is wonderful, which isn’t really that big of a spread.  I wouldn’t buy it, but I think it’s an interesting concept.

Today, I want to know how you feel about Amanda Seyfried’s lipstick at the Tony Awards.

See What I Mean???

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
By Glinda

Jennifer Lopez, who is normally very beautiful, was apparently shoved into a janitor’s closet and had her makeup applied by a nearsighted ten year old.

Kudos to the young lass for at least not messing up that waterline, (thanks, SarahDances!) hideous as it may be.

Product Review: Sephora by OPI Nail Color

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
By Glinda

I had a nice little discount given to me by Sephora a few weeks back, and you know when you have to reach a certain amount of money and your’re just looking for some little thing to bridge the gap? Well, Sephora by OPI nail color was that item for me.

I chose “Make the First Mauve” which, as a name, is just a bit much for me. The color is kind of nice, a bit darker than I usually use on my hands, but it definitely grew on me. It’s a grey-ish purple, perfect for winter.

Part of the reason I so rarely use nail polish on my hands is that I don’t like spending the money for base and top coats, and I wash my hands a LOT. So even though it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, I base my nail polish reviews on how long a polish lasts without any “help.”

Well, Sephora by OPI lasted less than a day before it started chipping. Yes, it’s a dark color. No, I didn’t use a top coat. But I truly think less than a day is pretty unacceptable no matter what.

I like the formula, I like the color, but I HATE the quality.

So, I must give this nail color a thumbs down.

Monday Beauty Poll

Monday, August 1st, 2011
By Glinda

Well, we had quite the discussion going on in the comments regarding the whole “you get what you pay for” theory when it comes to beauty products.  Thanks to aurumgirl for a very well thought-out comment to get things rolling.  52% of you said that it depends, and yes and no responses were evenly split at 23% each.

Last week, the lovely and talented Gaia over at The Non-Blonde had a post in which she stated she was intimidated by purple eye makeup.  That got me to wondering if there was any particular color that has you reaching for the other side of the shelf.

Beauty Intervention: Paz de La Huerta

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011
By Glinda

I’ve not watched HBO’s Boardwalk Empire (although I love me some Steve Buscemi) so before this year’s award shows, Paz de La Huerta was a name I was only vaguely familiar with.  Now, I’m a little too familiar with it, but for all the wrong reasons.

This is Ms. de La Huerta at a Golden Globes after-party.


This is her at an Elle Women in Television event.


Walking the red carpet at the SAG Awards.

I’m seeing a trend here.

Girlfriend has got some looks, there is no doubt. Her face is not what I would call conventionally beautiful, but it is a very nice face to look at.  And she’s got a bod that goes on for days, lucky her.

I think she is right to emphasize her mouth, which is very lovely.

BUT, the rest of it she’s doing all wrong.

I, along with the rest of the world, would like for her to discover powder, or at the very least, blotting papers.  It is possible that on the first event, she was caught unawares by the bright lighting and whatnot, not realizing that it can get hot under the spotlights. 

That doesn’t excuse the next two outings.  I mean, there is a dewy complexion and then there is just flat-out unattractively shiny.   And even though she looks as if she doesn’t have any other makeup on, she does.  However, it seems to be just some sort of liquid or cream foundation.  I’m all for a natural-looking eye when paired with a dramatic lip, but this goes a bit too far on the natural side.  There is too much dissonance going on with her lips versus the rest of her face.

I think what I’m missing most is a little color on the cheeks.  If her makeup artist (who should have an arrest warrant put out for them, seriously) had just done a slight sweep of something, it would not have been quite so tragic.  And she has an olive skin tone, but you would never know it looking at the mask that is her face. I don’t know if they actually applied some sort of shine-factor to her face, but it was a big mistake.  All three times.   I’m not kidding when I say I think I myself could have done a better job. And I would work for cheap!

I think she wanted to replicate the look in this O Magazine shoot, which is very nice, but she should know that there is a big difference between photo-shoot lighting (not to mention Photoshop) and real life.

Paz, call me!   And I promise never to mention your brown lips of sadness.  Well, maybe once.

To Swap or Not to Swap?

Friday, January 7th, 2011
By Glinda

I promise that I had a post for today, but the server decided it was hungry and ate it.   So, let me try again.

Everyone has them.  Those beauty purchases that for whatever reason didn’t work out.  Perhaps you were having an off day.  Perhaps there was an extremely persuasive saleswoman on the floor that day, and she got you in a weak moment.  Whatever the reason, we’ve all got our rejects.  And even though most stores have generous return policies for cosmetics these days, sometimes we are too lazy to ship it back if we purchased over the internet, or we kept it longer than the return window. 

Some women, instead of relegating these items to a drawer, participate in swaps.   The best (and ostensibly, reputable) site for this is here. Some people give to relatives or friends.  I’ve even heard of makeup swap parties, which actually sound kind of fun.

I usually just give my stuff away, and if I happen to get something back, it’s a bonus. 

But I have to say the idea of swapping intrigues me.  And scares me a bit the same time.  I have no idea who the other person I’m swapping with is, and even though the product would be perfectly safe for me to use, I would probably be too paranoid to do so.  Apparently I need some faith in humanity, but it’s a slow process.

What about you?  Would you be willing to swap your unwanted products?  And would you be fine with swapping, say, translucent powder, but hesitant on something like lipstick?

Do tell!

Makeup Counter Confessions

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010
By Glinda

The lovely klee stated in a comment:

Go get a free make-over at one of the beauty counters about once a year. It will give you new ideas, freshen your look (so you don’t fall into a time warp trap) and you’ll probably learn a trick or two.

That is an absolutely fabulous idea, for sure.  Everyone should definitely take her advice.

Except for me.

You see, I seem to have the “makeup counter curse.”

I have yet to be pleased with any makeover done at a makeup counter, and I’ve had quite the few.  I’ve had them done at high-end department stores as well as places like Merle Norman.  And if you can remember Merle Normans, then congrats, you’re a dinosaur just like me!

Usually my first indication that this isn’t going to turn out well is when the counter girl has apparently seen fit to apply practically all products from the line she sells on her face at the same time.   It’s too much, I tell you, and it frightens me.

Despite my inner alarm bells, I have proceeded with the makeovers, always with disastrous results.

I consider myself to be an attractive person.  I’ve got large blue-green eyes with long lashes, a nicely shaped nose, an oval face shape, and lips that are (to me) the perfect thickness.  I don’t really have great cheekbones, but I’ve long come to terms with my non-chiseled-ness.  But the makeup artists tend to see a blank canvas upon which they envision me coated with so much product, I don’t even recognize myself when they are through.  They always pay compliments to my features, even as they go about doing their best to sabotage them.

After my last visit to Sephora, which was an experiment to see what lip color the employee would steer me toward, I am sort of ambivalent about anyone helping me at all at this point.  She applied this very frosty, Barbie-pink lipstick on me, and I wanted to laugh.  I’m almost forty, and Barbie-pink doesn’t do me any favors.  I wore it twenty years ago, and trust me, it belongs in my past.

So for everyone else, makeovers are a great idea.

Me, not so much.  At least until I figure out how to counteract the curse.

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