Manolo for the Beauty

Having heard the hype about this lip balm, I was excited to receive it as a “birthday gift” from Sephora.  Of course I had to buy something to get my gift, but whatever.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t quite live up.

It does go on nicely, I will give it that.  It also has a screw-on cap that makes it perfect for purses.

But that’s about all.

I’m not a fan of lemon scents, so it immediately gets a minus from me on that, although some of you may love it.

I don’t find this product to be long-lasting in any way.  If there is one thing I look for in a lip balm, it is that I don’t have to keep reapplying it.  For me, this stuff lasts for about a half hour, and then my lips feel as dry as if I’d never put anything on at all.  BIG minus.

Chapstick will save you a bunch of money and works better.

Or, if you prefer pricey balms, I highly recommend this one.

I don’t know how this particular product managed to escape (har har) me, but seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Rapper Akon has sued the company he was in negotiations with for producing a perfume, but he alleges they went ahead and did this all on their own.

Yeah, I would sue too.

Apparently scented nail polish is becoming a “thing.”

Really?

Because unless you spend all day with your hands cradling your face, I fail to see how scented nails could impact you in any way.

And to be honest, the thought of eating and having a scent wafting in my nostrils as I’m lifting my fork to my mouth is not at all appealing.

This is definitely one trend I won’t be following.

Well hello there! Long time no see!  Well, that was actually all my fault, but I’m ready and raring to go here in 2012.

Our last poll was about metallic makeup and if women past a “certain age” should take a pass on it.  Interesting, it seems no one can ever agree when that “certain age” begins, though.  Young people and older people alike think it means everybody but them!

The voting was a bit tight, with 41% saying metallics should be given the heave whenever that nebulous age is reached, while 58% say anything goes.  I’d like to join the 58% and say that if you are still interested in wearing makeup at 80, you can wear whatever the hell you like.

Today, Kate Shapland at The Telegraph gave a list of the worst beauty trends of 2011, and I’d like to hear your thoughts.  I didn’t include all of them, because ‘Scouse brow isn’t really being done here.

I had a nice little discount given to me by Sephora a few weeks back, and you know when you have to reach a certain amount of money and your’re just looking for some little thing to bridge the gap? Well, Sephora by OPI nail color was that item for me.

I chose “Make the First Mauve” which, as a name, is just a bit much for me. The color is kind of nice, a bit darker than I usually use on my hands, but it definitely grew on me. It’s a grey-ish purple, perfect for winter.

Part of the reason I so rarely use nail polish on my hands is that I don’t like spending the money for base and top coats, and I wash my hands a LOT. So even though it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, I base my nail polish reviews on how long a polish lasts without any “help.”

Well, Sephora by OPI lasted less than a day before it started chipping. Yes, it’s a dark color. No, I didn’t use a top coat. But I truly think less than a day is pretty unacceptable no matter what.

I like the formula, I like the color, but I HATE the quality.

So, I must give this nail color a thumbs down.

I thought this cover was absolutely stunning.

Until I noticed she only has one leg.

Have you been feeling a little evil lately?  How about judgemental?  Or maybe your ego is getting to be the size of a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.

Then have I got the makeup for you.

Introducing Karl Lagerfeld for Sephora.

Because everybody wants to take a swipe at Karl, right?

The perfect gift for your non-sleeping toddler, a Kuddly Karl doll!  That’ll teach the little squirt to stop making a fuss at bedtime. “Go to sleep, or I will bring out Uncle Karl!”

And the snowglobe is simply the product of a very deranged mind.

Just the thing I want to see right before I put my makeup on. “YOU. NOT PRETTY ENOUGH. TRY AGAIN. AND AGAIN… FAIL.”

Only Europe is lucky enough to have access to these.

Seriously?

The people selling this product claim that by using this attractive gadget, also known as Nose Up Lifting Shaping Beauty Clip, for fifteen minutes a day can actually change the shape of your nose.  Just think of all those people who have paid a plastic surgeon. Fools! All they needed was this sixty-four cent piece of plastic that does not at all resemble a torture device.
What gets me are the semi-intelligible reviews on Amazon:

The clip is really working . i can feel the difference , its been around a week using this clip the change may not be visible but i can feel from within my nose has tightened a bit which was sagging earlier. This clip rocks !!!!

The change might not be visible but they can feel it! From the inside!

I wanted to order the nose huggie for so long but I was doubtful that such a little item could really change the shape of your nose and to my surprise the first week I saw a difference my nose started to take shape and looked thinner I am so pleased I love it and I would recommened it to anyone who has a wide or puggy nose and what is even more surprising is the price for the appearance you spend more on a value meal than what I purchased it for at amazon.com It’s awesome!!!!

You’re kidding me, right? The nose huggie!? And hey, everyone knows the best way to get people to buy a product is to insult them. Also, this person needs to get acquainted with periods.

I’ve been using this for a week, about an hour at a time. I have a very bulbous nose and this has made a small difference; my nose is more pointy. It don’t work on bone, just areas of the nose with cartilage. I have even in the past had a hard time drinking from soda cans because my nose gets in the way. But I’m finding it easier to drink from a can. That’s how I know it HAS worked. My nose isn’t as droopy. I’m wondering how permanent it is, though. Not sure if I done use it for a few days if it will go back?

Buddy, that is definitely one droopy nose. Maybe you do need this thing!

This makes about as much sense as buying it.

Because nothing makes me want to whip out my credit card and buy an expensive dress like a model who looks like she lost her job, her boyfriend, and her puppy on the same day.

That is the question on the Telegraph’s mind, after seeing not only Elle Mcpherson with huge curls:

But also SJP doing some sort of crazy bouffant:

Now, both of these looks are extremely high maintenance and to me, ill-timed.

Where I live, it is going to start getting hot within the next month or so, and who the heck can wear their hair down in voluminous curls when the thermometer tops out at ninety or above?

Although both of these women could easily afford to hire someone to walk around with them, blowing a portable fan in their direction at all times.

The rest of us, not so much.

I think I would melt if I walked around in the summer heat with my hair down, not to mention the fact that there is NO WAY the hairspray would last longer than an hour.

My summer hairstyle is up in a ponytail, and I dress it up if needed by wearing it with something fancier than a plain Goody elastic. If I’m feeling a little carefree, I’ll do a lopsided bun.

I must also add that Elle is wearing high-waisted jeans with two very large pockets with buttons on the front, a look in which only .01% of the population could pull off.