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Things I Don’t Do: The Forehead Bagel

Thursday, September 27th, 2012
By Glinda


People, the only bagels I’m interested in are the above kind, not this kind.

Although I suppose that if someone wants to walk around looking like a Star Trek extra, it’s is a pretty good way to achieve that. Anyone else, you’d have to buy a wig to cover that up.

Things I Don’t Do: Hair Extensions

Thursday, May 24th, 2012
By Glinda

I don’t really know why, either.

It has truly never crossed my mind to put any kind of extensions into my hair, even though I have to say that my hair is not exactly luxurious.

I don’t judge anyone that does put them in, and most of the time, unless they are colored, I don’t even know that they have them in at all.  I just tend to automatically be jealous of all the people with long, beautiful hair and don’t stop to pause to think if it’s real or not.

I know that it’s a big Hollywood thing, and I know lots of regular people do it just to have a little fun or add some color that can be instantly removed.

I guess I’m neither glamorous OR a good time.

Just ask my kids.


Things I Don’t Do: Inner Lower Lid Eyeliner

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
By Glinda

I am, perhaps, making up a term.

I don’t care.

I have never applied any type of eyeliner to the bottom inner lower lid of my eye.  It sounds like possibly one too many adjectives in that phrase, but I’m tired and I threw perfection out the window a very long time ago.

Side note, is it sad that my nine year old doesn’t really know what a thesaurus is?  I mean, yeah, he’s seen then a couple of times, but has never actually used one.  Ditto with encyclopedias.

Anyhoo, lining the bottom of the eye has been a trend for quite a while now, one that has gone in and out over time.

I’m firmly in the “out all the time” camp, however.

Firstly, it squicks me out.  I have contacts and I would fear for their contamination.  Secondly, I am of the personal belief that it actually makes your eyes look much, much smaller.  If that’s the look you’re aiming for, then have at it.

But, it isn’t for me.

Things I Don’t Do: Colored Mascara

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
By Glinda

I know, I know.  Based on my penchant for plummy-colored eyeliner, I’m fairly positive that I would look good in some plum mascara.

But, I’m not 100% positive.

And it just hasn’t really been on my radar to go and find a nice plum colored mascara and try it out.

I just might be scarred from the 80’s, when I did brave some blue mascara (SO HOT at the time) and thought I looked great.

Except in retrospect, I’m sure I didn’t.

I am well aware that the pigmentation on mascaras is much different here in the 2000’s, and the only time you are going to get neon blue mascara is if you are purposely looking for neon blue mascara.

As much as I hate to say it, I’m thinking that maybe 41 is a bit old for colored mascara.  A trend best left for the young ‘uns, as I had a go of it on the first round.

What say you?  Is age just a number and flaunt that purple mascara no matter what?

Things I Don’t Do: Bronzer

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
By Glinda

Well, that’s actually a lie.

I have been “doing” bronzer for a very long time now, and I desperately want to move away from it and into some actual color, especially with spring and summer coming up.  I live in a sunny, warm climate so I don’t look like a complete idiot wearing bronzer in November, but I’m just over it.

Yeah, I could turn to Nars’ Orgasm, but that seems just so cliched.  Besides, what with my lipstick and eyeshadow choices, a peachy blush wouldn’t match as well as something pinky.

I’ve been considering Benefit’s Bella Bamba, but I don’t know if I want the gold shimmer.  I tend to prefer matte blushes and then if I want to pump it up a notch, apply this.  Pumping it up has not been happening a lot lately, unless you want to count doctor visits, which I don’t.

I’m even thinking of branching out into a cream blush, although historically they have caused me to break out.

What’s your blush brand of choice?

Things I Don’t Do: Mommy Makeup

Monday, December 12th, 2011
By Glinda

No, it’s not something I made up, it’s an actual brand name.

The concept behind the line is something I can get behind.  Who doesn’t like minimally messy, multi-tasking makeup?

However, I object to the name enough to never use it.

And don’t get me started on the fact that the lipglosses are named “Mommy’s Kisses.” Blargh.

I also think that it would automatically turn off anyone who wasn’t a mommy.  Amirite?  Way to instantly narrow that customer base!

This is by no means the only makeup featuring pressed powder and double-duty products.  In fact, Mommy Makeup is so far down the innovation line on this one, they are standing outside the door.

I often use makeup to try to repair the damage (Bags under eyes caused by sleep deprivation! Wrinkles in my forehead from giving “the look!”) that my children have done to my poor face. I often use makeup to remind me that I am not ONLY a mommy.

The last thing I want to do is remind myself of that fact every single time I put on some lip gloss.

Things I Don’t Do: The Vampire Facelift

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011
By Glinda

Let me get this straight.

You shell out perfectly good money for a doctor to take some blood from your arm, separate the platelets, and then inject it into your face?


I suppose the argument could be made that it is better than injecting botulism cells into your face.

I’ll leave this one to other people.

Talk to me in twenty years, though.  I might change my mind.

Things I Don’t Do: “Dewey” Makeup

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011
By Glinda

Because on me, it would simply translate into “oily.”

Things I Don’t Do (Yet): Dark Spot Concealers

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
By Glinda

I added that caveat above because I have suddenly noticed a flurry of dark spot concealers that had gone unnoticed by moi from the likes of philosphy, Caudalie, Dr. Brandt, and even Clinique.

I have two medium sized dark spots on the top of each cheek, and they are starting to bug the heck out of me.

My two unwelcome guests first appeared during my first pregnancy.  I panicked, and then found out that it was something that happened quite commonly to pregnant women, and relaxed.  After my son was born, the spots faded quite a bit, but never truly went away.  But, I could easily cover them up without a problem, even though it annoyed me to do so.

My second pregnancy is when they apparently decided to make my cheeks their permanent home, since my daughter is turning two next month and they haven’t faded in the least.

And who knows? It could also possibly be sun damage as well, since Lord knows I didn’t use much sunscreen for the first 25 years of my life.  I also have a thyroid disease, which is listed as another possible cause.

So fantastic, I’ve got this ungodly trifecta of causes and it will probably take some sort of miracle for these things to pack their bags and leave.

Has anyone tried any of the dark spot concealers?  Any recommendations?  Anything to avoid?

You all were so helpful to KESW on the e.l.f. post, I thought I would give all you experts out there a chance to help ME!

Things I Don’t Do: Hair Dryers

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011
By Glinda

Aside from the unfortunate period in my life (approximately 1989-1991) when I had a spiral perm which required the use of a diffuser, I’ve mostly managed to avoid hairdryers.  I think I also used them a bit in high school, but after the perm fiasco (which I don’t like to speak about) I’ve used them only for special occasions.  I kept the same dryer for about ten years until it went kaput about four years ago.  Since then, I’ve bought two different ones.

For every day wear, my biggest styling tools are a towel and a comb.

It helps, of course, that I have no bangs and for a very long time, had hair that was long and all one length.  And anyone with very long hair can tell you that the fastest shortcut to fried ends is daily use of a dryer.  My current hairstyle is long but layered, and can handle a bunch of styling or no handling at all, depending on what I want to do.

Say what you will about special shampoos and conditioners with heat protectants and space-age dryers with ionizers and crystallizers and who knows what else.   I tried quite a few and always ended up with the same result.  My hair doesn’t like dry heat.  Oh sure, it will look really good for the first few weeks.  I will be seduced by the smoothness and shininess of my hair. But eventually it will protest by looking really, really crappy no matter what.   Then I have to have three inches cut off the ends so that it will look decently healthy.

To me, not worth it as a daily thing.

I know some ladies who would sooner give up their morning coffee than their dryers, and good for them.  If they have hair that works well with a dryer long-term, I’m glad and possibly a teensy bit jealous.

Maybe I’m doing it all wrong?


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